The black sheep are the ones you can save the rest of us. You are doing that. My family was not dysfunctional or alcoholic. (I married into one that was. So I've seen the devastation which alcohol wreaks.) But even though I was spared your situation to a degree, I can still have compassion for what you went through. My heart feels for you without words. My head says that you are punishing yourself unnecessarily for what was a loving act on your part. I suspect your mother carried that same memory to her death. The way out is for you to get that you were both innocent in a crazy, crazy moment. We just have to give each other those moments.

When I taught (high school and middle school), I tried to do much the same thing. Schooling outside was pretty much impossible (ever spent a winter in Milwaukee), but we did what we could within the four walls. I tried to support each student's individuality and often let them pick…

In my years teaching, I met very few teachers who saw the big picture, or really anything beyond their subject matter. You are a refreshing exception to that. I don't understand why so many silly articles get likes in the thousands, and yours -- which gets so much closer to the root of our problems -- does not. Keep writing.

Wonderful piece, Brian. Medical problems and physical pain have kept me from enjoying my old age in the way I had hoped to. It is a happy time and a sad time. Happy because, at this age, most differences fall away. Regardless of color, religion, etc., our lives are now…

[Andrew -- The proper spelling is "led", not "lead". A common mistake.] Your response comes from the male mind To the male mind, all things are black and white, either (men run it) or (women run it). The upshot is that all male creations must have a winner and a…

Who are you kidding, "John Henry"? You're just an incel trying to sneak in the back door wearing your reasonable man clothes. But you do not speak for me or my brothers. I was in a couple bad marriages before finding my current wife of 38 years, 6 children and…

Excellent article, one of your best. I've lived in a rural (mountain) area for the last several years, but the majority of my life has been spent in or near cities (and, therefore, suburbs). I think your characterizations are right on: neither side really recognizes the existence of the other…

Words are weak vessels at moments like these. I had radiation therapy a year ago (I won't kid you, it was hell), and am still fighting the many aftereffects. But I'm getting stronger, and so will your wife. My wife did not know how to support me either, but she did it just by being my wife. You'll do the same. Oh, and by the way, that bit about you not being empathetic . . . garbage.

Obviously, I am not a woman, but I have spent a lot of time in hospitals and agree wholeheartedly with your article. Women, and especially those who are non-white, consistently get the short end of the stick. But let me tell you my story which, but for the gender difference…