Because some of my kids were athletic, I spent decades as a youth sport parent/coach/official. I met a lot of good people; most (not all) of my players benefitted; I spent meaningful time with a lot of kids I might not otherwise come across (even helping some of them in their lives, I think); and watching the most talented of them move up through the sports world. Sometimes, I think that coaching (and teaching) are the only things in my life that I was good at and where made a difference.

But I would never do it again. I thank God that my kids are past that age. The abuse was constant and often very mean. It came mostly from parents. Parents who thought their middle school basketball careers made them experts or parents who saw sports as the only way out for their kids. Because most of my kids came from poor or broken homes, I paid their way for a lot of our cross-country trips to tournaments, but their parents often resented me for it. That part is OK: it's only money. And I understood that, for many of those kids, sports was in fact the only way out.

When those kids graduated from my coaching to better coaching or a different life, I would imagine how their lives would develop. Some of them made incredible changes in their lives, which made me proud even if I didn't have a lot to do with that. (One player who was good enough to play at higher levels except that he was too short, and had become a teacher in an inner city school, returned just to tell me I'm the only white man he ever trusted. I know it's just ego, but that made it all worthwhile.)

I would love to know which of my players came out as transgender.