I like your thoughts, though it's not quite as cut and dried as you suggest. I had six kids, but only two arms, so there were times when handling one child meant neglecting another. Nevertheless, my failure to leave the kids to deal with their consequences more often is one of my main regrets on looking back. With time (and some exhaustion), I evolved to a point where I just left them to their mistakes and consequences. If they didn't want to listen to me, I just left them to life in general to learn the important lessons. They're surviving, but they still have a lot of lessons to learn. I did have a couple successes. My youngest was caught stealing a skateboard. The police were going to just let him go without consequences. I took the officers aside and asked them to give my son total hell. They did, and as far as I know, he never stole again.