I'm with Allan Lees -- I just don't get where you're coming from. You're either a very subtle and talented writer or a self-centered shrew. I'm biased I suppose because I'm the house frau in my home, so I probably know what's going through your husband's mind better than you do. But I can't decide whether he is a masochistic self-punisher who is resigned to his life or a man who loves you dearly and understands his purpose in the house despite you moods. As you can imagine, my wife and I have these moments, too. But the one thing I've learned is that competition does not work in a marriage.